Saturday, January 2, 2010

All the Single Ladies...

I had the privilege of attending a friend's beautiful, winter wedding last night. Some might suppose that a wedding held on New Years Day, after a kissless midnight on New Years Eve, might be a little depressing for a single 34 year old.  Especially when this was yet another one of the celebrations of love that I attended "uncoupled".   It is true, and perhaps at times painfully obvious, that I want to be married, have children and raise a family.  Yet I have come to understand a few things through my years of singleness.

Admittedly, at times being single gets me a little down, and I slip into the poor poor pitiful me mentality.  I get focused on wanting, what I want, when I want it, namely married to prince charming right now. However, those time are fewer are farther between.  I have come to realize and truly believe singleness is not a curse, it is not even a bad thing, and during its season, it is a blessing.  It is has been pointed out to me over recent years, by more than one person, that if I were already married, I would not have been able to have as great an impact on those I have been involved with . I wouldn't have had the focus or time to invest in them.  For certain, my experiences would have been different, limited if not non-existent, such as WA, Africa, Cambodia, New Orleans, New York.  The freedom to do as I feel called is fulfilling.

Marriage is not a bad thing either, when you are prepared and have waited for the one God has prepared for you.  I think one of the reasons I am still single is not so much because I am looking for perfection, but because I am waiting for the one who is perfect for me.  I am not willing to sacrifice the plans and purposes God has for me, in exchange for a husband.  Like the newly wedded couple last night, I want to be in a marriage relationship that will see me helping my husband to achieve all the plans and purposes God has for him, and he helping me to do the same.  Marriage is indeed about compromise, but not when it comes to the plans and purposes God has for us.

I was encouraged when I read this verse from 1 Corinthians 7:17 "Don't be wishing you were some place else or with someone else.  Where you are right now is God's place for you.  Live and obey and love and believe right there.  God, not your marital status, defines your life"


There is also that whole thing about being a submissive wife and I realize many women do not like that term.  I assure you however, that it is not a one sided, hobbling attack on a woman's worth or role in marriage. TO the surprise of some, I want my husband to be the head of our household (I being the neck which turns that head - wink, nudge), which is why I want to be confident he is a man I can trust to take the lead, yet comfortable sharing the responsibility when necessary.  It would be very easy to submit to a man who is submitted to God. 

So I will wait, right here, where God has placed me. Live, love and obey as best I can and allow the love of God to define my life until I can share that love, doubling the joy's and halving the burdens in relationship with my husband. A marriage founded in the love of God, centered on the will of God.  Hoping for sooner than later ;) to serve on the street truck tonight, always a privilege that leaves me a little misty eyed, grateful and a little wiser.

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