I Don't Feel The Need to Fight for My Right to Lead

I am blessed to serve in the Free Methodist Church, which is egalitarian by nature, holding the view, that the Bible teaches the fundamental equality of women and men of all racial and ethnic mixes, all economic classes, and all age groups, based on the teachings and example of Jesus Christ and the overarching principles of scripture.  I believe, as does the FMCiC that all people have equal responsibility to use their gifts and obey their calling to the glory of God; and are called to roles and ministries without regard to class, gender, or race.  That being said, there are still individuals within our denomination, and obviously those of other denominations that would not readily accept a woman in leadership.  Some of these objections are due to an arguably misinformed biblical interpretation.  The other objections are simply preference.  

The reality of my experience has been that there is more than one congregation out there, where a significant part of the adherents and membership would prefer a male Senior Pastor. I have had in depth, ongoing, conversations with individuals (men & women) who maintain this preference. They understand the FM stance, love being FM, but maintain their PREFERENCE that the senior pastor be male. I also understand in part the reason for their preference, I may not always agree, but understand. If enough people in the congregation prefer this - than that is the direction they will head.  

Now I could apply, and fight for my right to lead, and If I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was called to a particular church that held these preferences I would apply and gently respond to their issue of preferences, trusting God to work in and through the process, (I've had to weigh this before). However if the definitive call was not there, I would respect their preferences (while keeping the conversation open in order to broaden both our perspectives and understanding) and move on, understanding every church has preferences but God has a plan.  

Some would say that when it comes to the hiring process this is discrimination and that we should not tolerate it.  I am in complete agreement, that it is sad that anyone has to face any sort of discrimination. It is discouraging that applicants and employees are not always attuned or obedient to the Lord's guiding.  I recognize that the church needs to mature in many areas including but not exclusive of this one.  Thank God for His sanctifying grace.

I also recognize however that I make up the church and there are areas that I need to focus on in my own spiritual growth and maturity in order to positively affect the whole.  I say this because my personal experience in this area of struggle as a woman in ministry was one that brought about some maturing.  My initial response was one of resentment, bitterness, confusion and frustration.  All fair but none very productive.  As I prayed and reasoned, and left room for open discussions with individuals of differing opinions, I came to the conclusion that my desire and call is to serve God and others well. This means going where God sends me, probably where I can be most effective given the time and place.  As I said in yesterday's post, I personally want the focus of my calling as pastor, and for my time and energies, to be about drawing people into a saving relationship with Christ and less about fighting this battle.

I realized that going to a church that is truly not ready for a woman senior pastor, where many will struggle with receiving, is not effective for me or for them and since it is really not about me, I figured let them have their senior male pastor, who will hopefully bring them to a place of understanding and maturity.

That being said, I am not condoning or accepting this preference, instead I want to walk alongside people and help them mature in their biblical understandings, and allow God to work in and through me, so that I might provide a positive and desirable example of a woman in leadership, so that they can overcome any inbred preferences.

My experience has been that the best way to do this is through relationship, even with those whose preferences are different from mine.  In getting to know them, and they me, I feel like I am gaining their respect as a pastor regardless of my gender.  One man said to me the first time he heard me speak, that my sermon was very powerful...for a woman.  I received it as a back handed compliment, but then realized that perhaps he had not heard very many, if any female preachers.  He had since been under my tutelage in discipleship classes, and though we did not always agree, I definitely felt that He respected me and the calling God has placed on me. 

I also believe that discrimination/preferences of all sorts take place in the hiring process, inside and outside of the church, though perhaps never labelled or presented as such.  Admittedly another area of maturing for myself, because in the interest of authenticity I have preferences, though God helping me, hopefully they do not get in the way of His will.

I've not yet felt the Need to Fight for my Right to Lead.  The Lord has led me to incredible positions of pastoral leadership that I am privileged to serve in and for that I am grateful.  I pray and know the Lord will do the same for each woman that he has equipped and called to pastoral ministry.  There may however, come a time, when I do face opposition in seeing God's will come to fruition, whether that be personally or on behalf of others. At that time, I will stand up and press forward knowing that it is the Lord who fights for me.  Till then, I will continue to serve where the Lord has placed me.  I will attentively listen for the voice of God, and pray that others do the same, and trust that in the end, the guidance and will of God wins out.

Women Can't What!?

The women in ministry fight/debate is not one, that I have fully engaged in.  It is not that I do not believe that women could, should and have historically been equipped and enabled by God to lead His people, cause I certainly do.  It is simply that, as a pastor this is not the focus of the ministry God has called me to and YES God has called me to pastoral ministry, as confirmed by others, the gifts and opportunities the Lord has afforded me, and as evident by the fruit of my ministry. My focus is on preaching the Gospel, loving and serving His people, and discipling them to walk in His will and ways, allowing God to work in and through me,  that others might come to know Him in a real and personal way, so as to live redemptive lives of transformation.  Should teachable moments arise that allow me to speak to this matter of women in pastoral leadership, than I am happy to engage in the discussion, but it is not the major mandate the Lord has given me for my ministry. Rachel Held Evans among others have been inspired, equipped and enabled to do so and Dr. Ben Witherington, considered one of the top evangelical scholars in the world, has provided some theological interpretation on women in ministry.

This being said I've had a few people recently engage me in this discussion, on women in pastoral leadership.  Now I can make theological arguments with the best of them, but the answer I often close with, is the one that compels me most of all, a very simplistic understanding.  Having been gifted for, and called to pastoral leadership, I have two choices.  When this life is over, either I apologize to God, for taking advantage of the opportunities he has provided me to preach the Good news, lead others closer to His throne of Grace, build up the body of Christ, and spend my life discipling and mentoring others, even though I am a woman. Or I apologize for not not preaching the good news, leading others closer to His throne of Grace, building up the body of Christ, and spending my life discipling and mentoring others.  Which is going to offend God more? The fact that I used the gifts and opportunities He has blessed me with to Glorify Him by loving, serving and leading others in the ways that I have been equipped and enabled to do so, or not taking opportunities to do these things, because I am a woman.

Tomorrow - the other side of the story: Why I Might NOT Fight for My Right to Lead.

Rather give up life than give in to singleness?

I believe marriage is a wonderful thing, when two people come together in such a way that love is multiplied, their joys doubled, and burdens halved.  I believe marriage is a Godly thing, when each person is able, through their union, to pursue the plans and purposes God has for them.  I believe marriage is fabulous, when God is the center and the relationship finds them drawing closer to Him and closer to one another.

I have always wanted to be married and to have a family.  Perhaps even more so after becoming a Christian, when a desire was birthed within me to leave a legacy of Christ like living and loving, for my children to pick up and pass down generation to generation.

I still want to be married and to have a family, but more than this I have come to a place in my life and in my spiritual walk where I'm more than willing to surrender that desire, in exchange for what God desires for me.  Of course many of us say this. In fact I have thought this many times in the past about marriage, but I was never really committed to the idea.  I am now. It didn't happen over night, it took years, but I have more than accepted that it may be God's will for me that I remain single. I have actually embraced this possibility and see the benefits of it.

I didn't expect however, that embracing such a possibility would result in an outpouring of concern from some in the Christian community.  It's as if the family of God thinks I have given up on life.  No Cathleen, keep fighting, keep breathing, this is not the end - God has someone for you, hold on!!!!!!!  

Maybe God does have someone for me, and if so - Wahooooo!!!! bring on "Charles Ingalls", praise be to God!.  However if not, then Wahoooooo!!! Praise be to God, just the same.

Here's the thing, as much as I believe in marriage, I do not believe it's the be all and end all for Christian women. I've come to realize that perhaps my getting married would be a hindrance to the plans and purposes God has for me.  If this is the case, than I shall pass on wedded bliss thank you very much.  What God has planned for me, is better than anything I can plan for myself.

If I look back on my life, I can see NOW, the benefits of my singleness in my Christian walk, the breadth of ministry it has allowed me.  The single focus it has afforded me.  Perhaps this is God's plan for me, in order that I may be more effective for Him and others, not for just right now but forever. 

This is where I'm at, but we are all at different places along this journey, and  for some, right now, the thought of such a possibility for their life, elicits copious amounts of anxiety.  Admittedly the title of this blog is a bit of an exaggerated question, but for some it seems the thought of having to sacrifice their life for Christ, would be easier than having to surrender to a life of singleness for Christ.  This reminded  me of the story of the Rich Young Ruler and I found myself wondering how we would respond if Jesus said to us, "in order to grab hold of the abundant life I have for you, embrace a life of singleness and follow me".  Would we, at these words be saddened, and go away grieving, unwilling to give up our desires, for what God desires of us? Would we respond much the same way the Rich Young Ruler did when Jesus answered his question "What must I do to inherit eternal life", by telling him to sell all he owned and follow Him.

I am in  no way suggesting that it is better for all to be single, certainly not. I am affirming that it is best to place all our desires in God's hands, not holding to tightly to anything, lest we be unable to grab hold of all God has for us.  I do not know my future, whether I shall be married or not, but I do know that I can trust my future to God.  It is faith that allows us to be content in all things, a growing trust that allows us to relinquish control to the one truly in control and find peace in the places God brings us. 

So ladies, whether, single, married, dating or divorced, as Valentines Day rushes upon us, let's celebrate the God who loves us extravagantly and praise Him. May we grow in faith, and in the confidence of  knowing that the plans and purposes God has for us are better than anything we can dream for ourselves.

I am Pro-Life

I did not have a chance to watch the Superbowl.  I was cheering for the saints though, the New Orleans Saints and the saints that joined me on Sunday.  Not only did I miss the Superbowl but also all the entertaining commercials.  I saw this morning for the first time, Focus on the Family's Tim Tebow Superbowl Ad.

There has been a lot of controversy over this commercial which I personally think is unwarranted  The commercial  did what I think is appropriate for Christians to do.  Present what they stand-for without attacking what they stand against. It was a pro-life message verses an an anti-choice one.

I'm Pro Life and I advocate Pro Life. God is certainly Pro Life!  He created life - "God created man in his image; in the divine image he created him; male and female he created them" ~Genesis 1:27.  He gives life - "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." ~John 10:10.  It breaks his heart when we take life from anyone, for any reasons. "Thou shall not kill" ~ Exodus 20:13 "Jesus replied, 'Do not murder,'" ~ Matthew 19:18.  This being said, I do not spend my time fighting against pro-choice. God has given us all free will. While we are commanded and advised to not do certain things, we are not prevented from doing them. God guides us and He informs us of the consequences of our choices good and bad. The consequences for not following His commands or advice, both temporally and eternally will be devastating for all involved but ultimately God still leaves the decision to the individual. While I am a strong pro-life proponent, I recognize that people have a choice both because it is legal and because God has given us free will. Make it illegal and people will still have a choice, though the consequences of an ungodly decision could be even more devastating. 

I am not God and I certainly have no desire to play God, instead, I want to point people towards Him.  I want to be an advocate for the things of God. I want to be able to build relationships and present the truth in love, advising them of the possible, probable and definite consequences of any decision so that they can make the right choice, the Godly choice. I realize that in the end the choice is theirs to make - theirs to live with, but believe this is the best chance I have to influence anyone.

My question is where are the Christians in the lives of  people before they find themselves lost in the darkness of confusion and hopelessness looking for a way out?  I suggest that more lives would be saved, more women would choose life if we spent more of our time coming alongside people, building relationships, providing them support and pointing them towards the hope they need, to believe that they can get through anything.  The Tim Tebow story is evidence of this - it was their relationship with God and trust in them that gave them the strength to make the decision they did.  I would love to know what percentage of people who stand with picket signs, fill-out petitions, and lobby government, spend as much or more time working in crisis pregnancy care centers, mentor young women struggling with self-esteem and promiscuity.  How many are interested in ministering to those who make the difficult decision amongst confusion and feelings of hopelessness and need healing?

If God will not force someone to make the right decision, what makes us believe that we could do so.  What we can do is reach out to those among us, and lead them to the Saviour.  Trusting that He will help them to make the right choice, saving perhaps not only 1 life but 2. We need to spend less time focused on fighting against the issue and more time focusing on people, building relationships, extending the same grace, mercy and love that was extended to us by our Heavenly Father. Here is what I know to be true - if people are brought to a place where they choose God - then they will choose life!

Jesus Rifles?

I went to Washington yesterday.  In fact I drove to Maryland and took the subway the rest of the way in. As I was entering the station, a nice man offered me a paper called "Express" so I took it to read on the 33 minute drive to downtown DC.

The Headline was about the plight of the 10's of thousands of Haitian Orphans. A devastating tragedy to be sure but it was what I read on page 5, under the section heading "Nation" that caught my attention.  The title of the piece was "U.S. Forces have the Bible in Sight"  The article was drawing attention to the fact that some of the telescoping sights which the soldiers use in Afghanistan and Iraq contain a small scripture reference, like  JN 8:12 that completes the serial number.  "When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, 'I am the light of the world.  Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life'" They have been using these scopes since 1995 and apparently now somehow has drawn attention to this and is none-to-pleased.  The president of the Military religious Freedom foundation says the inscription on the sights, could give the Taliban and other enemy forces a propaganda tool, that American Troops are Christian Crusaders invading Muslim countries. He continues to say that "I don't have to wonder for a nanosecond how the American public would react, if citations from the Koran were being inscribed onto the U.S. armed forces' gun sights instead of New Testament citations.

I have been dwelling on this article for a couple days now, and had a great discussion about it with a couple friends tonight.  First of all, having visited Washington and Philadelphia this week and now better understanding it's history, I have come to believe that as a country and as a people, we were better off, when we stood on the biblical foundations the country was built upon.  Almost every artifact, including the Liberty Bell is inscribed with scripture.  The more we stray from these biblical principles the worse off we seem.  Whether you are Christian or atheist or anything in between. the truth remains that the United States of America was founded on Biblical Principles.  So would people be upset if the Koran was being inscribed onto US gun sights - yes indeed.

Please do not misunderstand me, I believe everyone has the right to their own beliefs.  I believe in liberty and freedom for all, but that includes my liberties and freedoms.  It seems to me, that the rights of Christians in the past few years have been abdicated so that another persons rights may be elevated. If one soldier is Christian and is okay, or delighted to have the JN 8:12 verse referenced on their gun then let it be so. However at the same time if a Hindu or Jehovah Witness did not want it, then give them a different scope.  The fight apparently is for freedom and yet as Christians fight for freedom, their freedom and rights seem to be diminishing.

At the same time, I am not convinced that having the scripture verse on the scope of a gun that is intended to kill someone sends the right message about our faith either.  I am a military brat, raised on Air Force bases, and I support the brave men and women who serve our country.  This post is not a commentary on whether or not they should be fighting.  I do not stand in judgment of those employed under the authority of our government., nor am I making the argument that soldiers engaged in war are any less Christian. I understand defending oneself against harm, as well as defending one's country from attackers.  I also hold to the biblical commandment of thou shalt not kill and love your enemies. Are there exceptions?  Is war one of them?   Is it okay to kill as a defense?  Is it okay to kill as an attacker?   Personally I would have a hard time holding a gun in one hand and a bible in the other.   It is a tough situation and these are tough questions.

On one hand I think the best thing is to allow each soldier to carry with them, or inscribe on their personal belongings whatever biblical verse they choose for their own encouragement and strength alone as "U.S. military rules specifically prohibit the proselytizing of any religion in Iraq or Afghanistan and were drawn up in order to prevent criticism that the U.S. was embarked on a religious "Crusade" in its war against al Qaeda and Iraqi insurgents."  On the other hand it frustrates me that once again we seem to be conceding defeat and taking steps backwards from the biblical heritage that has built and sustained this great country.

Trijicon is a Christian Based company who clearly states on their website that one of their values is that "We believe that America is great when its people are good. This goodness has been based on biblical standards throughout our history and we will strive to follow those morals." As of this morning they made the following statement "We will remove the inscription reference on all U.S. military products that are in the company's factory that have already been produced, but have yet to be shipped" and "Provide 100 modification kits to forces in the field to remove the reference on the already forward deployed optical sights." "Trijicon has proudly served the U.S. military for more than two decades, and our decision to offer to voluntarily remove these references is both prudent and appropriate" ABC - Jesus Rifles

This article has screated so many deep questions.  It has elicited great conversation and though I have my opinions, I do not claim to have any right answers. What I am interested though is your opinion. Do you think the discreet verse reference should have been removed? More importantly I would love to read comments on how a Christian could balance their biblical understanding of thou shall not kill and love your enemies with  modern day war.  What is the criteria that establishes a war to be just in the eyes of God?  Feel free to leave your comments below.

The Modern Leper

I just finished reading "Everybody Wants to Change the World, Practical Ideas for Social Justice".  It was a good book touching on a number of justice issues. It provides the reader resources for how they might get involved in implementing positive social change, from a biblical perspective.

 
Chapter 7 entitled "The Sick and Disabled", particularly impacted me.  This chapter focused on the AIDS epidemic and as I read, I learned that Worlds Aids Day falls on December 1st. This is an issue very close to my heart, having seen the affects of AIDS first hand in Africa and just recently returning from serving in the AIDS hospice in Cambodia. In fact, my mind immediately started to crunch the numbers, trying to establish when it was that I was in Cambodia.  I quickly realized that December 1st was the day my mind was held captive on the long bus ride back to Thailand, as I worked through copious scenarios, trying to establish, if and how I could continue to serve those I met in the Poi Pet AIDS hospice.  With offer and opportunity, I  felt compelled to remain in Cambodia serving at the hospice.  The connections I made there were powerful, the stories unforgettable.

Before I share a personal story, let me establish for you some facts. I looked up the UN Global report on Aids which is issued every 2 years (2008) and found the following. An estimated 33 million people were living with HIV in 2007. There were 2.7 million new HIV infections and 2 million AIDS-related deaths last year and of those 500,000 were children. "In some regions of the world entire villages have been decimated in places where parents, teachers, administrators and commerce leaders succumbed to the disease."  I witnessed this first hand in Malawi, where children living with AIDS were orphaned because their parents had succumbed to the same disease.  This left a population of the very young and very old.  Where the very old would take care of the very young, until they themselves passed on, leaving children raising children.

AIDS is not just a 3rd world issue.  In North America approx. 1.2 million people are living with AIDS. In 2007 alone, there were 54,000 new infections and 23,000 deaths.

Such a significant decimation of human life and yet since the diseases' sinister inception, many maintain the same attitudes of those in the days of Jesus who responded to the lepers  with  "unclean! unclean! unclean! "Clear the way! Don't close enough to touch them or you yourself may becoming infected! Yet Jesus held the hands of the lepers.  He touched them, soothed them and comforted them."

This was my blessed and privileged experience in Cambodia to care for the least of these. It was at the Cambodian AIDS hospice that I saw first hand and got to live out the calling that Mother Teresa so eloquently demonstrated, coming alongside those in need, the oppressed and dying. Enabling them to live with hope and die with dignity. Galatians 6:2-3 reads "Stoop down and reach out to those who are oppressed.  Share their burdens and so complete Christ's law.  If you think you are too good for that, you are badly deceived."    

While the patients could stay at the rudimentary hospice free of charge they had no food or company, unless a friend or caring person would drop some by. I only saw one visitor for one lady the week I was there.  So we would go to the market each day to get them juice and food. I  had the privilege of praying with them, sitting with them, getting a cold clothe for their head when they ran a fever, making them laugh, hugging them and loving on them.

During my week there, I made a connection with each lady.  One woman was very sick, I did not think she would live to see the end of the week.  She had contracted AIDS from her husband, a Cambodian police officer who had engaged in a number of extra-marital affairs.  We prayed for and over her and by the end of the week, she had enough strength and energy to get out of bed and walk. 

There was another young lady named Lee Lee, who I became quite close with. She is 30 years old, though to look at her you might think her much younger.  As I understood it, she came to Poi Pet when her boyfriend got work there, and either he forced her to or she felt she had to, begin prostituting herself.  She had 7-8 boyfriends which is how she contracted AIDS.  When her boyfriend found out he left her alone in Poi Pet.

Some days she seemed to have lots of energy, especially in the mornings.  In the evenings however, she was a completely different person, no energy and in such pain that she would whimper.  She could not stand on her own without my help to get her to the washroom. 

Lee Lee asked me by making a cross with her fingers if I was a Christian, to which I replied yes.  The verse  John 13:34-35 immediately came to mind “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." We prayed together and I prayed that if she did not have a personal relationship with Christ that she would come to know the love, grace, and life saving power of our heavenly Father. We continued our time together over the week singing Jingle Bells me in Canadian her in Kamir.  I taught her how to say each of our facial features in English.  I massaged her arms and rubbed her back.  I tried to bring her as much comfort as I could. The night before we were to leave we were blessed to have Selah join us as an interpreter.  She informed me that Lee Lee wanted me to stay and that she loved me.  This pretty much broke me, because that morning all my heart felt compelled to do, was stay and serve in the clinic and village churches until she and the others I had connected with passed on.  I told her I loved her too. As we were leaving that evening, a woman beckoned Selah and I aside from our group. I came to understand that she was the nurse at the hospice. She spoke to me through the interpreter, explaining  that they and the girls would benefit from my staying and serving in the clinic for 3 months, which only just continued to rip my heart open.   

The next morning we had to leave. Before we did, we stopped into the Aids clinic to say goodbye and drop off more food and juice for each of the ladies.  The doctor was in that morning and it was then that I realized just what a connection I had made with Lee Lee. The doctor was putting in an intravenous, causing Lee Lee great pain.  I could see her forearm swelling up as he forced the liquid into it and I thought something did not seem right, but I am no doctor, so I held my tongue. One of hospice volunteers came by and was fiddling with the IV, it was apparent it was not right.  At the doctors instruction he began to remove it, Lee Lee writhing in pain as blood began to spew out her arm. At this point I got up from her bed and went to the doctor, emphatically pointing towards her, speaking in a language he did not understand, wanting him to realize this is not okay.  Like a mother coming to the defence of a hurting child, I was not even conscious of what I was doing, but someone was not meeting the needs of someone I had grown to care for and that was not okay.   

I never did give much thought to the fact that she had sold herself to men. I was not concerned about the fact that she had Aids when I hugged her, when she would kiss my cheek, when blood was coming out of her arm.  Lee Lee was my friend, she was a child of God and she deserved LOVE!  I left Lee Lee, the other girls, the Aids Clinic and the villages of Cambodia that morning but they are forever in my heart and prayers.

We are advised in James 1:27 "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."  Now that does not mean that everyone needs to go half way across the world to do it - unless God is calling you to - and He may be.  You can live it right where you are. My question is "are you?"  Who is your Lee Lee? Even here in Canada God has blessed us with Lee Lee's, people who are forgotten, dismissed, oppressed, lonely, hurting and dying.  Saved yet or not they are God's children and unless they experience the love of God through us, and  are extended the same love, grace and mercy that was graciously given to us then they may be lost forever. 

All the programs, all the Sunday morning services, all the churches in the world, mean nothing if we are not loving and serving others to God's glory.  Sermons don't save - programs don't save.  It's the word of God in action that draws people to Christ.  Love of God and Others will redeem the world.